my very first time...

Sudden urge of posting this song for everyone here. I don’t really understand what the lyrics mean; but this song is somewhat brought me back lots of the past. How come songs can reminds us those sweet and sour moments? This is the very first song of my first love, first man I longed to loves; my first of everything. Times really passed too fast, before I have time to recalls those blissful memories.. I found out I almost forgot those kind of feeling. Is been half year now, is not really a long period for me. Let’s say it this way, because I really did let go and I think this is the main reason why memories faded so fast.

You know what I am really proud of myself? I noticed I am damn good in finding happiness for my own self when I am not feeling any good either. **Hehee.. I think this sound good on me “Im the type of girl that can be so hurt but can still look at you & smile the type of girl who is willing to brighten your day even if I can’t brighten my own”. Im not self praise here but I really am this kind of girl **smiling** for everything I struggle I learn something new about myself. Something new into my new live.. Life still goes on without him.

“有所得就有所失 有所失就有所得”
“人要懂得舍得，不舍不得，舍了才得”

Losing him was the worst moment I had gone thru. Heart aches, broken into pieces. It really hurt so much. But if I am given a chance; I won’t change any of it. This is the best for us. I lose someone important but I gained more than anything or anyone can replace. I found myself again, learned that families is always important, found out true friends, my own career. Don’t you think my life is greater without him around? Hmm.. yup I felt the same too. So you should know why I never regret of letting him go?

Have anyone ask you this question before “When was the last time you are feeling happiness? Last two days I was browsing some girl’s blog, read on this topic. Suddenly I felt blissful, I hardly remember when it was but I can clearly remember how it felt. I should **thanks him for the very short moments of the happiness and left a deep remarks in my heart. So what can I say? Let’s keep those memories… feel the things before it faded.

I actually in a very rush time now. My friends are waiting for me at café, another appointment at bar club. Sigh~ I am real tired. Ok I need to go now..lets update you all again. Hope my friend wasn’t reading this. If yes, I am sooo sorry babe. **Muacks

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.
John Homer Miller

farewell for now

thanks for de journey

it might not last that long

but that was de most meaningful and memorable journey in my life

it means more than word can describe

farewell my dear friend

is de end of our journey

is time to split

i will always remember what you'd taught

because you will always stay close inside my heart

till our journey will once again come...

i am here waiting;

with a heart that's tried and true

faithfully

You're killing me softly

When you get mature you start to realize and see thru many things. People you trust the most will hurt you the most. You probably will have your heart broken not only once and each time is getting worse. You don’t dare to trust people anymore. You don’t dare to fall in love again. You hate thing that happened around you. You even hated yourself for being naïve. You will start to analyze everyone that came into your life.

I hate this kind of feeling. I damn damn hate myself for falling to the wrong mug.again and again…Can’t you see my broken heart? I thought you’re always the one whose understand me the most. I know you feel me. You’re killing me silently.

I kept reminding myself. Everything happens for a reason. Don’t cry because is the end, Smile because it happened. Is ridiculous; when you’re lost, you don’t see the road. Every fact seem like a fool to you. I can’t endure any longer. Breath is so much lacking. I almost expired. And the only way is... get your ass out from my life. I seriously don't need your fake cares. You’re f*cking irritating. Don’t ever promise me something you can’t grant me. Just leave me alone plss..

Set me free

Did anyone know what did dream means? I heard some people said dreams relates to our daily lives. Think this is unexplained. Everyone have different thought of it. Perhaps I should give up from finding the truth meaning hidden. Sigh~ I’ve been tired of my dreams lately. I seem like having almost the same type of dreams every night, without fails. What a sad thing is I can’t find out the meaning! Some of my friends said when you dream of something bad it means opposite. Some even said if you dreamt of something bad, you should tell the related person and good things will happen. Last week I had this awful dream once, one of my close friend dead and I cried terribly. I didn’t tell her, but I did call her up and check if she is ok with her live. Thanks god, she is having a great live.

What make me insane is I have dreamt of working and meeting him all the nights. It stick to me for months and I seem like can’t get rid of it. I am real tired of rushing to work, working with all the loaded works, finding ways to bump into him, time not enough, etc in dreams. What it is inside my mind now?! May be I need to admit that I am thinking of my works and him too much. **End up I need to drink D.O.M every night before I sleep. But I don’t see any difference till now…

current thoughts?!

It's been a while since my intentions to jot my thoughts here have actualized. Time just flies.. Way too quickly! So much to say, so little time to pen them down. Perhaps every time when i open my blog, i don't know where to start. Im lost I can't find the perfect words to describe my "current" feeling. i think there is too much things happening, ups and downs, downs and ups and life just keep twisting. Arhh~ once a while I kind of hated life. It seems complicated. But sometimes I seriously loving it. It just likes hmm.. one word "amazing". Yes im emotional I can't read myself too.

Lets see what i can find in my current mind??! Properly is Works.. and Opps "i really miss him terribly". and yes i am!

CRY by Rihanna

I'm not the type to get my heart broken

I'm not the type to get upset and cry

'Cause I never leave my heart open

Never hurts me to say goodbye

Relationships don't get deep to me

Never got the whole in love thing

And someone can say they love me truely

But at the time it didn't mean a thing

My mind is gone

I'm spinnin' round

And deep inside

My tears I'll drown

I'm losin' grip

What's happenin'?

I stray from love

This is how I feel

This time was different

Felt like I was just a victim

And it cut me like a knife

When you walked out of my life

Now I'm in this condition

And I've got all the symptoms

Of a girl with a broken hear

But no matter what you'll never see me cry

Did it happen when we first kissed?

'Cause it's hurtin' me to let it go

Maybe 'cause we spent so much time

And I know that it's no more

I shoulda never let you hold me baby

Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart

I didn't give to you on purpose

Gotta figure out how you stole my heart

My mind is gone

I'm spinnin' round

And deep inside

I'm losin' grip

What's happenin'?

I stray from love

This is how I feel

This time was different

Felt like I was just a victim

And it cut me like a knife

When you walked out of my life

Now I'm in this condition

And I've got all the symptoms

Of a girl with a broken heart

But no matter what you'll never see me cry

How did I get here with you I'll never know

I never meant to let it get so personal

And After all I tried to do

Stay away from lovin' you

I'm broken hearted

I can't let you know

And I won't let it show

You won't see me cry

This time was different

Felt like I was just a victim

And it cut me like a knife

When you walked out of my life

Now I'm in this condition

And I've got all the symptoms

Of a girl with a broken heart

But no matter what you'll never see me cry

This time was different

Felt like I was just a victim

And it cut me like a knife

When you walked out of my life

Now I'm in this condition

And I've got all the symptoms

Of a girl with a broken heart

But no matter what you'll never see me cry

All my life!

Silly Billy on Tuesday-Nite

Cova in Gardens

Sky's chicken liver..her fav' Veenie's Chicken Spaghetti
Bel's Salty Mushroom
Sky addicted wit her chicken liver..she really loves the foods. At the same time,me n bel found out we re totally different channel wit SKY.
"Yes Sky.Im Conservative type..ok ok i knw wat you wan to say;to foods only.hehee"


Journey to the Center of the Earth
A snap before the movie start and before someone behind us make complains.
Snap of Miss.Ninja after movies..

What Veenie Wong Means

You are very hyper. You never slow down, even when it's killing you. You're the type of person who can be a workaholic during the day... and still have the energy to party all night. Your energy is definitely a magnet for those around you. People are addicted to your vibe. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts. You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it. You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator! You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life. You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

"pls Respect, my dear"

Sigh~ early morning received a rude and unfriendly mail frm a girl which I dun even knw frm friendster.. wat I can say is I think teenagers today is doing stupid things a lot. kind of wasting their time. ok lets get back to de content of de mail; basically is a vry simple one. Written ”I hate you bit*h”. WTF! wat is she doing? a 18yrs old girl frm johor. i scratched my hair for few minutes wit wide open mouth.. did I knw her?! no I dun, I really dun!! I dun even hv 18yrs old friends.. think she hv sent wrongly. and yes I did replied “learn to respect pls. i dun even knw you”. lucky enough it didn effect my mood. im feelin good today…jz bcz I hv special date tonite. hehee gonna meet up all my girlfriends for karaoke session.**wink

**If you wan others to respect you; all you need is respect yourself. girls should learn to respect each others bt nt stabbing each others.. after all, we re all frm de same type.